I Can't Let Go
by alexzangel
Summary: They're all in their 20's the scars of the war never really healed and moving on to get past it never really helped. The trio discover that the choices that they have made for themeselves especially H and Hr. No matter how separate they can't let go.
1. Why Do You Annoy Me So?

**A/N: I know I am indecisive; it's part of my charm. Besides that though that is one of the reasons why I fail to own Harry Potter. **

**Summary: The war has taken it's toll on everyone in some way like they knew it would. Everyone's lives change after it and years later everyone wonders why is it that they made those decisions. There is still so much left unsaid and after it's said will it change anything between them or will they carry on. This story is loosely based of the song Can't Let Go by Landon Pigg. Enjoy!**

Hermione sat down in front of the mirror at her parents' house as she applied lip gloss something she thought she swore she would never do. But tonight reluctantly she decided that she was going to attend the hospital banquet they were having to honor doctors.

Hermione herself had worked after getting official papers from Hogwarts stating that she had completed all mandatory schooling and became a nurse. She loved her job and even through it she had found wonderful people. Specifically she was a nurse for now but was still going through some schooling to become an OBGYN which was what she was really interested in.

She looked down at her chest holding over the spot that was the exact reason why she didn't become an Auror like Harry and Ron had done.

"Sometimes, I just wish that I could figure my own self out." Hermione sighed as she slipped into the black dress that she had picked out for that night out of her closet along with the matching bag.

She heard an owl tapping on her window in a hurried pace. She made her way over to it letting Hedwig come over and rest on her shoulder for a bit.

"Hedwig, you know where your perch is." Hermione said as she pulled of the note.

She bought a perch just for Hedwig whenever she came to deliver something.

_Hermione, _

_Could you come visit me? I just feel like you're the only person that I can turn to in this. _

_Ginny _

The letter was abrupt in Hermione's opinion and she secretly wondered what could cause such a need for immediate attention. Steven, one of the fellow nurses and the person that was trying to get to her lately was due to pick her up. She picked up her cell phone and called him.

He answered her on the third ring.

"Steven."

"Steven, it's me Hermione."

"Don't worry about it I'm almost there. I know everything has to be perfect but trust me you look beautiful just the way that you are."

Hermione couldn't help but blush at his praising words.

"Steven, don't even worry about it."

"Hermione."

Hermione could hear the exasperation in his voice the disappointment.

"Look, I would have loved to come but my friend she has this emergency and I need to be there for her."

"Tell me this, is this one of those real problems. Or just one of those girl problems?"

"Are you patronizing me, Steven?"

"N…"

Hermione hung up on him before he could even try to explain what he had just said to her.

How dare he?

Not bothering to change out of her outfit she grabbed a different purse.

"Mum, I'm stopping by Harry's house. Do you want anything while I'm gone?"

"No but tell those two I said hi."

"No problem." Hermione said.

Hermione apparated in front of her mother before she knew it she was in the home of Harry and Ginny Potter. She loved Grimmauld Place but it was not what she would ever consider a home for someone to live in permanently. Sure it had a lot of space but she couldn't deal with all of it. She remembered the countless times she had gotten lost in it and someone else could easily live in the home without you even knowing it.

Hermione smirked at the thought.

"Hermione what are you doing here?"

"I just came to talk to…"

"You came to talk to Ginny. And I assume that it's not girl talk."

'No," Hermione said giving him an inquisitive look as he ran his hands through his hair.

He looked as if he was getting ready to say something to her but closed his mouth in an after thought.

"I'm going out did you want anything."

"It's great to see you."

"It's great to see you to." Harry said as he hugged her.

Harry and Hermione both felt strange at the contact that they shared in that long hug.

They broke apart and Harry stared down at her.

"All three of us should get together sometime."

"I do…Why not?"

Hermione stuttered through all of those words. She still talked to Harry and Ron but it had now become awkward in their relationship as friends. They weren't the care free people that they used to be for some reason many past events putting a irreparable strain on their relationship.

In all honesty she hadn't meant for things to happen like this no one did but things just went like that.

Hermione climbed the stairs of the house not looking back at him as she could feel him staring holes into her. Then just as she approached the master bathroom door she heard a pop signaling that he was gone. She was glad, she now felt extremely better about the situation. She sent a simple rap on the door and was met immediately with a response.

"Come in." Hermione could hear Ginny's voice. She sounded absolutely terrible.

"What exactly has gotten you so upset?"

"Oh, Hermione, I don't think that this is working out so well between Harry and I, I just don't know anymore." 


	2. Not Pretending Like I Did Before

Part of Hermione wondered why she called her in for this. Honestly they were friends but that only went so far. She had never heard anything but Ginny Weasley gush about Harry as a husband and it made her sick to her stomach.

Where did that come from? Hermione asked herself as she was shocked with her own thoughts. You are going to be happy and you are going to be happy for them Hermione forced that into her head trying to get that mind set.

"Are you going to start?" Hermione asked trying to keep a calm mood.

"I can't."

Hermione didn't know what she was going through this time but she sure as hell wasn't going to go through this again. Whether it was lack of sleep or just plain decision to not be the person for her to walk over.

"Ginny, I know you're going to hate me for saying this but hell, it needs to be said. I am your friend and I would drop anything for you. Understanding that I have a life to live, a job to work at and every time you want me to come I am here. I have bills that need to be taken care of Ginny and my own emotional problems to worry about so if you would just…"

Hermione's cell phone rang at the worst possible moment and thinking it might be an emergency call from the hospital she answered it.

"Hermione Granger."

"Hermione, you need to think of a better greeting than that."

"Steven now is not the time. I'm dealing with something important."

"I wanted to give you some time to cool of just in case you were just…"

Hermione hung up the phone again.

It was silent as Ginny and Hermione looked at each other figuring who was going to say the next word.

"Any other reason that you wanted to call me over here." Hermione asked.

"Are you leaving?" Hermione heard Ginny asking her.

"Yes, Ginny I'm leaving, and no matter what your problem is remember that there is always someone else out there that has it worse than whatever you're going through. And another bit of advice is that if you're going to try and get me over her it better be damn important."

Hermione folded her arms over her chest as she apparated back to her house. She had no idea what the hell was wrong with her. Ginny didn't deserve everything that Hermione had dished to her? But tonight everything kept on flashing back. Everything that for five years she had been putting behind her, and as much as she tried it just wouldn't leave her alone.

Why is life so complicated?

She could have called Steven back and told him that yes; he could come by her house and pick her up. They could be at the banquet laughing with the rest of her friends that she worked with everyday. Dancing to music that she had no taste in whatsoever, but at the same time she didn't want to do that.

So many times her fingers dialed the numbers but then cleared them out. Repeating the process over and over again as she stared at the wall. Then she turned to look at the clock by her bedside and it read 10:15. It was way too late to call anybody and with that she turned off the lights to her room kicking off her shoes.

"Goodnight." She told herself.

Harry sat down with Ron at a local pub that they frequented. Well he never told Ginny about it but all the guys from Hogwarts would get together once a week and just hang out for tonight. He usually wasn't a heavy drinker but once in a while he liked to knock back a drink or two of fire whiskey.

Something about the burn down his throat just made him attracted to it whenever he was having problems. And right now he didn't want to deal with them. Seeing Hermione had just brought back memories that he'd rather not deal with.

"Harry!"

"What?"

"We just asked if you were interested in going to the next World Cup." Ron said looking at him strangely.

"Yeah." Neville said. "It's great having a girlfriend who works in the gaming department."

"Sure." Harry said stiffly as he brought the bottle back up to his lips.

"Whoa Harry, what's gotten you pissed?" Dean asked.

"Why do you say that?" Harry asked the alcohol not really hitting him yet.

"I don't know it's just that every time you drink this heavy you're having problems with the lady." Dean retorted taking the bottle away from him.

"You two always seem to fight more than you get along. I think that Hermione was right..." Neville started but then stopped realizing he had said something he wasn't supposed to have said.

"Mate, you're talking about my only sister. I don't appreciate that."

"What did Hermione say about Ginny?" Harry asked out of curiosity.

He didn't know if he was going to do anything about Hermione saying whatever she did about his wife. He just wanted to know what was being said.

"Beats me, I've never heard her say anything about that." Dean shrugged.

"It was amazing; I hear there was almost a fight on the day of the wedding."

"Everyone knows that."

"No, I don't mean the Death Eater battle Harry I meant the girls. Then again tell me a day during that time when there wasn't problems with them."

"I always wondered what exactly happened that made Hermione decide to not be a bridesmaid."

"Well, it was that that still causes them to have some problems."

"When Ginny picked the dresses Hermione just about exploded at her but she held her tongue but when it came down to it and came up with the lame excuse that she didn't like the orange bridesmaid's outfit.

_Flashback_

"_Hermione you should be getting ready to walk down the aisle with Neville." Ginny shrieked as she once again readjusted the veil._

_Hermione meanwhile was in the bathroom fussing with the orange dress that Hermione had given her. Orange on most occasions shouldn't be linked to a wedding and Hermione even though practical could tell her that unless it was very light. However she took the choice of an orange similar to that of mustard that had gone bad. Not only was the color bad but Hermione was not one for the ridiculous amount of frills and lace that accompanied it._

_She took her wand out of her bag. Ginny had been calling her for the past few minutes stressing not only Neville but that she better hurry up. _

'_Into what' Hermione wondered to herself 'because this dress is hideous and I'm not wearing it.'_

"_I'm sorry but there's a change in plans." Hermione said out of the bathroom at the burrow coming out and revealing the black dress that reached her knee. _

"_What happened to the bridesmaid's robes that I picked out?"_

"_Ginny, I've never really agreed with the theory of wearing dress robes, and besides that shade of orange looks ugly."_

"_Does it? This isn't about you; it's my day to celebrate the love that Harry and I share."_

"_I wonder how long that's going to last." Hermione said with extreme skepticism under her breath. _

"_You can go somewhere else but you're not ruining what's supposed to be the happiest day of my life."_

"_I don't really like your attitude. Who said I was trying to stop your wedding?"_

"_I don't like you."_

''_The only reason I'm at this wedding right now is because Harry asked his best friend to be here for him and I'm being faithful to that."_

_Hermione didn't know what provoked her to say that to her. _

"_Screw you for ruining my wedding."_

"_Go to hell for ruining my friendship."_

_Hermione shot back at her without even thinking about it. Somehow she was relieved when she got all of her emotions out about it no matter how rude, selfish, and probably nit picking because if she was getting married, she would have hexed somebody for saying that to her about her wedding. _

_Then again this wasn't her and hers wouldn't be this elaborate with all of the added frill no matter who she was marrying. In here it was like the wedding of royals were taking place but she wouldn't say anything about it. _

_The point of the matter was. This wasn't her day and it wouldn't be her day. She didn't even think that she was going to have one of those. Her happiest day had already past and led straight into sorrow and grief. All she did was sit in one of the vacant seats and wait for the ceremony to begin. She would fake a smile through the whole thing, nod at Harry if he needed any reassurance despite her own feelings and in the end clap like she was supposed to. Yes, she was doing exactly what she was supposed to; she was playing the role of the supportive friend. _


End file.
